Blog:
Jesse Meade’s Mandatory Trip Down Memory Lane

08/26/2019

Good morning,

What’s that you say? It’s evening where you are? Well, since the sun no longer sets on the Meadeworld Entertainment International empire, we like to think that it’s always morning now. No matter where you are.

It’s been a while since we put out one of these update things. I can’t remember exactly how long it’s been, but I’m going to take a shot in the dark and say that it’s been about 17 years. Time really flies, doesn’t it? Obviously the reason we haven’t been too concerned with keeping up on them is that they’ve become completely unnecessary. I mean at this point, we’re essentially everywhere. The movies you watch, the news you read. Heck, even the cereal and flapjacks that you’re eating right now. MEI makes all of it. You just waking up each day is the update now. But we thought it would be fun to do one just for old times’ sake. You know, just to remember briefly what things used to be like back when you still had to make your own decisions and think for yourself. Thank goodness that’s all over with, am I right?

Anywho, over the next few weeks and months I will be personally inspecting the Northwest region of operations as my performance schedule takes me both hither and yon across Cascadia’s vast expanse. September in fact will see me setting new personal records for distance traveled in a month as I play my first shows in years in Bend, Oregon and my first shows ever in Seattle and Port Angeles, Washington. Plus much, much more. Take a look:

       click for larger image



And, again just for the nostalgia of it all, here’s a video. Remember videos? Just like we used to do back in the old days? Ahh, good times.



There you have it. This was fun. I think we’ll probably do it again. And I think you can probably expect the next one sometime before the United States Tricentennial. So, you know, right around the corner.

Kindly wishing you many more happy hours spent working and consuming,

Jesse Meade
CEO / EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE
Meadeworld Entertainment International





SON OF JESSE MEADE’S NORTH AMERICAN WEST COAST CONCERT SCHEDULE UPDATE

02/19/2018


Well, well, well, here we are again. I bet you thought/hoped that this newsletter was dead. Well, tough shit. It’s back, and this time it’s personal. So, you’re probably asking, “Where have you been this whole time, Jesse? What have you been doing that’s so goddamn important that you couldn’t take a minute to drop us a line and let us know what’s happening in the hallowed halls of Meadeworld Entertainement International?” You want to know what I’ve been doing? I’ve been musicing my fucking ass off, that’s what I’ve been doing. I mean, someone’s got to make some money around here. The MEI clothing, frozen food, and automibile manufacturing divisions have hardly been bringing in any cash at all. I’m not even sure I’ll be able to pay the salary of the secretary that I’m dictating this to right now…
Grate, now my sekratary is gawn. thats fine. I’ll finnish it myself. fortunetly they alreddy put most of it togyether four me. LOts of big stuf coming up. czek it owt!‽!



In memory of Fats Domino (1928-2017)


Thats it four now; Menny moore dates too bee aded as theyeer gose on.

I’ll be tocking to you agein reel soone. or sooneish. Meybe.

Sinseerlee,

Jesiey Meedde
SEE EE OHH/Lourd Protektor
Meeddewurld Enturteynement Inturnashunul





JESSE MEADE’S CRAFT CORNER OF SORROW

12/02/2015


Over the last decade I’ve had about four occasions when I’ve had a pair of pants which needed to be hemmed. So, a month and a half ago I decided that a sewing machine was an absolutely necessary purchase. I chose the top seller on Amazon: the “Sew Advance, Sew Affordable” Brother XL2600i.

After about a week had passed and I had hemmed all the pants in sight, I began to feel that I needed a more serious project to justify owning such an elegant and versatile machine. I happened to turn my gaze on the new Behringer Eurolive 1320D floor monitor that I had recently purchased and, in a moment that I would soon regret, decided that I both could, and should, make a carrying case for it.

What would follow would be a month of some of the most unpleasant, unfulfilling, and frustrating work that I’ve ever voluntarily subjected myself to. The first problem I had, and one which I still have, is that I don’t know how to sew. The machine itself isn’t difficult to figure out but, unfortunately, there’s a lot more to sewing than just the machine. My second problem was that even if I had known how to sew, I didn’t know how to make a floor monitor case. So, I went to the internet for answers. Surely, someone out there had already attempted to make one of these themselves, and there would be a detailed, comprehensive set of instructions for me to follow. No dice. Outraged by this glaring lack of available information, I decided that not only would I design and build a case, I would also document the process and share it, so that others might learn from my experience. Pretty great, right? I’m incredibly thoughtful. It’s a curse really.

After weeks of research, fabric sampling, and deep thought I had all the components in place and I began work. About two days in, I gave up on documenting anything and swore that I would never attempt an undertaking of this scale again. Instead of a detailed, comprehensive set of instructions, here are simply some random photos I managed to take, interspersed with some of my own, personal sewing tips:

Tip #1: Measure twice, cut once isn’t good enough. Measure 15 or 20 times, cut once, fuck up, cut again, measure again, cut again, repeat.




Tip #2: Foam Laminated Ballistic Nylon is a fun fabric to work with if you enjoy crying and cursing God.



Tip #3: Mitered inside corners. Just don’t bother. If your project has inside corners that need to be covered, just use duct tape, or make something else.












Tip #4 (not pictured): Try forgetting to lower the presser foot on the machine about a thousand times during the course of your project. It causes an incredible mess and brings all forward progress to an absolute halt.











There you have it. I’m sure I’ve given you enough to piece the process together by yourself.
So, what have we learned from all of this? Don’t do anything yourself that you can afford to pay someone who has the proper training and equipment to do for you. No matter what it is. What are you doing right now? Are you cooking? Stop. You know that casserole is going to taste like shit. Throw it out and go to a restaurant. They have all the stuff there to make it right. It’s a great system. What are you doing with that guitar? Are you trying to entertain yourself? Give it up. You know you suck at guitar. Come pay me to entertain you. I have all the necessary skills and equipment, including this goddamned monitor case.



In memory of Allen Toussaint (1938-2015):


Next month I’ll show you the process for making guitar strings at home; starting with the mining of the raw metals right in your own backyard!

Keep your seams straight,

Jesse Meade
CEO/Guy who wonders if members of male sewing unions refer to themselves as ‘Seamster Teamsters’
Meadeworld Entertainment International





THE FALL OF JESSE MEADE

11/01/2015


Oh wait, wait, I meant The Autumn Of Jesse Meade. Shoot. Well, anyway, here it is:



“Don’t Be Afraid Of Love”
Written by Oscar Mack, Phil Walden



Seasonally Yours,
Jesse Meade
CEO / Middle Aged Man Fall / Old Man Winter (in training)
Meadeworld Entertainment International





JESSE MEADE’S FUN SIZE UPDATE
(A.K.A. THE VERY SHORT AND SWEET OF IT)
(A.K.A. I THOUGHT ANT-MAN WAS PRETTY GOOD)


10/06/2015


Seasonally relevant salutation section:
Hey everybody! How’s it ghouling?
Attempted comedy section:
I want to be the first jockey to come up the stretch.
Schedule section:

Video section:

“Corrina, Corrina” – Arr. J. Hurt, Arr. J. Meade
Somewhat amusing, yet ultimately unsatisfying valediction section:
Well, I guess I’ll be (barely) seeing you.
Take Scare,
Jesse Meade
Little, Teeny, Tiny, Itsy, Bitsy CEO
Meadeworld Entertombment Interslashional






WHY DID THE RETIRED MARIACHI BAND GET TOP BILLING AT THE CONCERT?

09/01/2015


Because they had señor-ity.



“September In The Rain”
Written by Harry Warren, Al Dubin


Apologetically,

Jesse Meade
CEO/Head “Joke” “Writer”
Meadeworld Entertainment International





JESSE MEADE’S AUGUST 2015 NORTH AMERICAN WEST COAST CONCERT SCHEDULE UPDATE

08/02/2015


Well, if you’re not already sick of me, August is your chance to be. Hey, that rhymes. Someone should do something with that.



That’s it.

Jesse Meade
CEO / Guy who’s too busy to write music industry fiction
Meadeworld Entertainment International





THE BATTLE FOR MEI

07/03/2015


Hey, it’s me, I’m back. Since I last wrote to you, things have gotten completely out of hand here at Meadeworld Entertainment International. In a (mostly) bloodless coup, the newsletter department has locked the board of directors in the basement of our world headquarters and taken over operations for the entire company. And worst of all, they didn’t even bother putting out a newsletter this month. So, I’m writing to you right now from inside a cabinet on the 14th floor, which used to be the home of our apparel division. It appears to have been converted into some sort of test kitchen; perhaps from which to launch a Jesse Meade line of frozen foods. Which now that I think about it, is a pretty damn good idea. It also might explain why they chose to leak my secret recipe for Chocolate Chocolate Macadamia Nut cookies last month. They’re slowly trying to associate my name with food instead of music. Well, I won’t stand for it. Here’s the shows I’m playing this month, if I can get out of the building:



I did manage to sneak out late last night and record this version of the incredibly fitting Duke Ellington classic “Don’t Get Around Much Anymore”:


I hear footsteps coming, I’ve got to go. Hopefully, I’ll talk to you next month.

Stay strong,

Jesse Meade
CEO(temporarily deposed)/Celebrity Chef
Meadeworld Entertainment International





JESSE MEADE’S CHOCOLATE CHOCOLATE MACADAMIA UPDATE

06/03/2015


Note: Jesse Meade remains on forced leave from all newsletter activities.

Jesse Meade’s June 2015 Concert Schedule


Jesse Meade’s tribute to the late Ben E. King (1938-2015)




The Meadeworld Entertainment International Newsletter staff would like to wish happy June celebrity birthdays to Klaus Wyborny, Benjamin Vasserman, and Antal Festetics. Long may your stars shine.





A Message From the Meadeworld Entertainment International Board of Directors

04/30/2015


OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE – 04/30/2015

After his lackluster and thoroughly unprofessional work on last month’s newsletter we, the Meadeworld Entertainment International Board of Directors, have decided that it is in the best interest of the company and it’s stockholders, to relieve Mr. Meade of all official duties not directly related with singing and/or songwriting. The newsletter division of MEI is more than capable of crafting and disseminating a monthly update without Mr. Meade’s assistance, and it is hoped that he will use this opportunity to focus more exclusively on matters of a strictly artistic nature.
We will be revisiting this issue on a regular basis and if at some point in the future we feel that Mr. Meade is capable of once again being a useful member of the newsletter staff, we will consider reinstating him.
Thank you for your patience and understanding during this transitional period.

Jesse Meade’s May Performance Schedule:



Jesse Meade’s tribute to the late Percy Sledge (1941-2015):


The MEI Newsletter staff would like to wish you and your families a happy May Day, Star Wars Day, Cinco de Mayo, National Teacher’s Day, VE Day, Mother’s Day, Armed Forces Day, and Memorial Day. Please drive safe.





jesse's whenever whatever concert thing

04/07/2015


i wasn't even going to bother doing a newsletter this month, but i figured someone might complain if i missed one, so instead, i'm going to do one, but just do a really half assed job of it. i know, some of you are probably saying, "don't you always do a really half assed job of it?", not realizing the countless hours of spell and/or fact checking that go in to this thing each month. but, this time around, i've just given up, much like charlimagne did at the battle of trafalger in 1854. anyway, let's get on with it.

here's this month's schedule:


some of that might be hard to read since i'm not taking the time i usually do to change the colors. also, some of those shows might have already happened, i don't know. i'm sure you have a calendar, figure it out yourself.

i didn't have any ideas for what to with the video series this month, but i noticed that aretha franklin's birthday was a few weeks ago, so here's me doing one of her songs. happy birthday, aretha. thanks for helping me piece together some sort of a concept for this.


boom, newsletter.

catch ya later,

jesse meade
ceo/zzzzzzzz
meadworld ent. etc.





JESSE MEADE'S CONCERT UPDATE - THE MOVIE

03/01/2015


Well, the inevitable has finally happened. The massive success of this newsletter has caught the eye of Hollywood and wheels are currently in motion to bring it's story to the big screen. When I was first approached by each of the major studios, I was somewhat confused. "Do you want to make a movie about me? Sort of struggling musician makes it medium type of thing?" I asked. They all informed me that no, that was not what they were interested in. At all. It was the story of the newsletter itself that they wanted to capture. The tale of a humble, monthly update comprised of concert dates and muffin recipes, that has exploded to become, basically, a new bible to millions across the globe. How could I say no? It truly is an inspiring story. Now, we're still in the early stages of production, so no word yet on who will play me or if, in fact, I'll be in the movie at all. They've already made it clear that I will not be featured on the soundtrack. Someone also briefly mentioned doing the whole thing in 3D CGI. That might be good, but I worry that the heart and soul of the newsletter may be lost if it gets too bogged down with special effects. We'll see. And I'll make sure to keep you all up to date. That is after all, the whole point of the newsletter.

In other, less glamorous news, I've got a bunch of shows this month. Here's what it looks like:


Of special note is the St. Patrick's Day show at Cornucopia, where I'll be performing all two of the Irish songs I know (and a few others), before handing things over to Chip Cohen and Ken Sokolov. Also, March 20th is my birthday and the band TASTE has been gracious enough to let me open up for their CD release show that night at Luckey's.

And what would an update be without a video? Well, it would still be an update, but here's a video. This is the first entry in my video series that falls under the category of "unreleased and/or forgotten originals" that I had promised. This is my first, and will most likely be my only, songwriting foray into the world of gospel music. Since it wouldn't really fit on an album of otherwise secular music, I thought I'd share it here.



That's it for this month.

And remember, there's no lettering like newslettering, like no lettering I know,

Jesse Meade
CEO/Guy who writes this crap
Meadeworld Entertainment International





JESSE MEADE'S YEAR OF OUR LORD TWO THOUSAND AND FIFTEEN MONTH OF FEBRUARY
OREGON TERRITORY WILD WEST SHOW UPDATE


02/03/2015


Howdy Pardners!,

The good folks in charge of the newsletterin' 'round here have informed me that despite our best efforts, this here monthly update has been a-stagnatin' somethin' awful. So, they recommended that we give some new-fangled themes a try. And what might this month's theme be? You guessed it: The World of Tomorrow. Nah, I'm just funnin' ya. It's the good old, rootin', tootin' Wild West. Yee-haw!

Come spring, things are lookin' to be gettin' mighty busy for old Sheriff Meade (that's me...just go along with it). Why just this month alone I'm gonna be a-hootin' and a-hollerin' on stages all up and down the Oregon Trail (not really, I'll mostly be along the I-5 corridor); so, saddle up and drag your sorry carcasses out to a show or two.

Here's what February's a-fixin' to look like:



Goddang! That is one fine lookin' schedule, if I do say so myself.

Now, I reckon you're probably a-wonderin' how that dadgummed video series of mine is comin' along. Don't be frettin', I got a brand new video for you right here. It's a cover of one of my favorite old numbers by one of my favorite groups: The Temptations. Umm...shoot. I guess maybe some Gene Autry would have been more appropriate. You know what? I'm going to abandon this stupid theme idea. The newsletter team is just going to have to come up with something else. I mean this is ridiculous, I've already run out of old-timey, western sounding nonsense to say and I can't imagine it's actually making this any more interesting to read. Also, what the hell is next month's theme going to be? The industrial revolution? How am I supposed to write that? No, this clearly wasn't thought through. I apologize. Here's the video:



Well, there's another newsletter in the bag. For some reason I find myself working up a powerful hankerin' for some beans and cornbread. Wonder where a fella like me might find some grub like that round these here parts. Guess I'll just climb on up into that there saddle and ride...damnit, sorry, sorry, I slipped back into it for a minute there. Let's just bring this cattle drive to an end.

Happy Trails,

Jesse Meade
CEO/Sheriff (retired)
Meadeworld Entertainment International





JM2K15NAWCJCS UPDATE

01/06/2015


Hello and Happy New Year. The start of 2015 (or as I like to call it, "The Ides of the Millenium") finds myself and the staff here at Meadeworld Entertainment International on the verge of great things. We're not quite there, but we're definitely verging. For one thing, as you've probably noticed, this month's update is on time. This is thanks entirely to the new newsletter firm that I hired last month. While they may not be the most cordial bunch, they sure as hell know how to newsletter, and whatever they might lack in garrulousness, they more than make up for in punctuality and cold, clean efficiency. Case in point, the newsletter's new, streamlined title. I argued that an acronym that long was pointless and confusing but they assured me that having too many words in the subject line was the far greater evil. To back up that assertion, they gave me this subject line analysis report done by the marketing group Adestra, which states that certain words, and groups of words, when used in the subject line, can kill people's interest in reading an email altogether. To be honest, I'm just taking the newsletter folks' word that it states that. Personally, I found the report's title to be so boring that I never made it past the cover sheet. In any case, it seems that the only acceptable word we were already using was "update", so that was left unacronymed.

On a related note, massive overhauling at jessemeade.com now allows you to read past and present copies of the newsletter on the all new blog page. I know what you're thinking, "Wait, is this a newsletter or a blog? And where does the whole "update" thing fit in?" Believe me, I wish I knew. Other drastic improvements include a redesigned video page and a now fully integrated webstore.

As for the video series, in an incredibly half-assed move on my part, I decided not to properly film anything and instead simply handed my phone to a friend on New Year's Eve and had them record my performance of "Auld Lang Syne". Here's that:



And here's what's happening in January:



There you have it.

Next month I'll be discussing my proposal to add another 'r' to the word 'February'. Where I plan to put it may shock you.

μέχρι τότε,

Jesse Meade
CEO/Caesar
Meadeworld Entertainment International





JESSE MEADE'S PERPETUALLY LATE 2014/2015 NORTH AMERICAN
WEST COAST DECEMBER CONCERT SCHEDULE UPDATE


12/06/2014


Once again, this month's update is a little late. I'm personally embarrassed that this continues to happen and I'm afraid the time has come to make some serious personnel changes here at the Meadeworld Entertainment International Newsletter Department. Effective immediately, I'm sacking the entire staff and brining in a big, powerful newsletter firm from New York City. It will be a sad time for the nearly 150 employees who for the last 47 years have been putting this newsletter out "each" month, what with their already indigent families and the holidays coming up, but I simply refuse to continue to subject you, my loyal fans, to anything less than truly up-to-date concert listings.

Here's what December looked/looks like:



You've no doubt noticed that among the many shows this month we have two extravaganzas followed immediately by a spectacular. My doctors have warned me not to attempt this. They say that even a man half my age and one fifth my body mass index would be unable to pull off such a feat. To them I say, just try to stop me. Candles will be lit, cookies will be eaten and I shall be triumphantly spit out the other end, glistening in olive oil and eggnog, screaming, "Should old acquaintance be forgot?" No, no it should not, and it will not. Not if I have anything to say about it.

Also, the video series continues to chug along. Not at the rate I was hoping it would, but unfortunately there's really no one to blame for that other than myself. Still, since last month, I have uploaded this video of me performing Bob Wills' classic "Faded Love":



And remember, copies of my new CD "Soul Helps" make great presents. Well, "great" might be pushing it but they are things you can buy and then give to people. Buy them here: jessemeade.com/store

And from me and all of the remaining employees of Meadeworld Entertainment International, Happy Holidays!





JESSE MEADE'S 2014 NORTH AMERICAN WEST COAST NOVEMBER CONCERT SCHEDULE UPDATE

11/09/2014


Well, this month's update is a little late. I apologize. I'm sure some of you were worried. The main reason I didn't get to it earlier is that November is pretty much a desolate wasteland of inactivity for me. Other than my Tuesdays at Cornucopia, nothing happening at all. Oh, I do also have a dentist's appointment tomorrow. Just a cleaning, no big deal. But, if you'd like to attend, please email me and I'll give you the details. Anyway, here's November (note that I'm including the Tuesday that already passed, just to make it look a little better):



There you go. Not too impressive really. So why, you may ask, did I even bother to send an update this month? Good question. You're a sharp bunch. I'm sending this because even if there's not that many shows coming up, big things are still happening here at Meadeworld Entertainment International. Most notably, I'll be releasing a short series of videos on my YouTube channel (youtube.com/JesseMeadeMusic), starting with this one of me playing Cole Porter's "Ev'ry Time We Say Goodbye", which I posted earlier this week:



The video series will consist mainly of me playing some of my favorite cover songs, and maybe a few of my own unreleased and/or forgotten originals. If you have a YouTube account you can subscribe to my channel by clicking here: youtube.com/subscription_center?add_user=JesseMeadeMusic.

Also, I sent this update to remind all of you that you can still pick up a copy of my new album "Soul Helps" at jessemeade.com. Amazingly, we're already down to the last 899 copies...wait, what's that? Oh, I've just been informed that one person returned their copy. So, we're back up to 900 left. Still, get 'em while they last.

And as always....um... shoot, I though I had some sort of sign-off catchphrase, but I realize that I don't. Well, I'll work on that for next month, as well.

uh, bye





JESSE MEADE'S 2014 NORTH AMERICAN WEST COAST OCTOBER CONCERT SCHEDULE UPDATE

09/30/2014


Hey, remember last month when I said you'd be receiving concert updates on a more regular basis? This is that.

Also, for the very few of you who still haven't ordered a copy of my new album "Soul Helps", I'd suggest getting over to jessemeade.com fast and picking up a copy while there's still some left. Amazingly, we're already down to the last 900 copies. Thank you very much to everyone who's already ordered.

Here's October:



There you have it. Prepare yourself for one of these bad boys every month...probably...maybe.





"SOUL HELPS" ALBUM RELEASE / 7 YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF TUESDAYS IN EUGENE

08/22/2014


Hi there! Did you forget that you were on this mailing list? I know I did. The bi-annual updates seem to have slowed all the way down to non existent. I'm going to try to get back to doing it once a month. I'm sure you're thrilled. Anyway....this:



That's right, it's the "Soul Helps" Album Release / 7 Year Anniversary of Tuesdays in Eugene, Oregon at the 5th Street Cornucopia with Girin Guha on Tuesday August 26th that you've heard so much about.

If you're able to attend, CD's will be half off ($5!!!) for that one night only. Starting around 10pm, I'll perform the entire album and then turn things over to my friend Girin Guha, so I can schmooze, sign autographs, get phone numbers, etc..

For all of you who are unable to make it to Eugene, I'll send out another email on Tuesday or Wednesday letting you know where you can purchase hard copies and digital downloads of the album. Until then I know most of you will probably just camp out in front of your computers with a carton of NoDoz and those things they used in A Clockwork Orange to hold your eyes open, just make sure you don't miss the very first instant you're able to place your order. I appreciate your commitment. Your CD's will still be $10. Plus a totally arbitrary amount of shipping and handling cost, even for the downloads. Deal with it.

Till then,

Jesse Meade
CEO Meadeworld Entertainment International





JESSEMEADE.COM FINISHES BETA TESTING

Official Press Release - 04/03/09


Nearly six months after it was made available to the public, and after countless hours of exhaustive reworking, the research and development team of the Fruition Design Collective announced Thursday that the final stages of beta testing for jessemeade.com have been completed.

During the press conference held in the main courtyard of the newly completed Fruition Design Collective compound located outside of Modena, Italy lead developer and CEO Lucas Spiegel urged anyone who had had trouble with the website in the past to try it again, assuring them that no matter what web browser or operating system they use the website is in now in perfect working order.
-
Jesse Meade was not immediately available for comment, reportedly vacationing in an undisclosed location, but unofficial statments made by members of his inner circle say that he is extremely pleased by the news.





JESSEMEADE.COM OPENS FOR BETA TESTING

Official Press Release - 09/18/08


The Spiegel/Meade Corporation in conjunction with the Fruition Design Collective are proud to announce that the all new jessemeade.com is now open to the public for beta testing. The new website features cutting edge internet technology and breathtaking graphic design the likes of which have never before been seen. Not only will this give Jesse Meade fans around the globe the most enjoyable and interactive online experience possible but it is also hoped that it will help to push the internet as a whole to heights heretofore thought unattainable.
-
In his teleconferenced keynote speech to the annual Spiegel/Meade Corporation board of directors meeting taking place in Geneva, Switzerland last Thursday co-chairman and CEO of Meadeworld Entertainment International, Jesse Meade had this to say concerning the new website:

" Thanks to web design visionary Lucas Spiegel and his industry leading team of researchers and developers at the Fruition Design Collective the name 'Jesse Meade' continues to stand at the vanguard of not only Acoustic Rhythm & Blues but also of Acoustic Rhythm & Blues' place in the electronic age."



Website design: Lucas Spiegel

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